I Hid Part of the Story from You

In addition to updating my bio every year, I update “The Whole Story” section on my ABOUT page.  

The whole story section serves a couple of purposes. 1) If someone is really curious they can learn the history of my whole creative career. 2) Interviewers can pull info from there about my credentials. 3) It is a running history of dates/events related to my career. 

That 3rd one is the most important part to me, personally. I’ve never been good with dates or time-frames, and that has gotten exponentially more confusing when I factor intuitive hits that jump into the future. 

This year, as I re-read the whole story and confirmed I had buried a major story line starting in 2020. I concisely said “I studied energy.”

Now that I’m publicly owning my energetic skills and incorporating them into my coaching I realized I needed a major rewrite for the latter part of the whole story. The expanded truth of 2020-2021 is included below: 

2020

2020’s Pandemic hit. I was better off than a lot of people, because I was an introvert accustomed to working at home. Regardless, the stress of the world reorganizing reality left me struggling to write. In January, the book Practical Intuition by Laura Day left me with a very strong intuitive feeling that we were going to be home for two years.

In June of 2020, I launched my Patreon, with the main goal of establishing Co-Work Creative sessions.  These virtual workspaces evolved into positive, stress-free, work times and COVID respite. The group has seen friendships form across time zones and continents.

Day’s book left me with more than an urge to start a virtual co-working space though, it also left me with a series of handwritten predictions. Which would mark a turning point in my intuitive and energetic learning.

March 17, 2020 was the first time I learned a prediction I had made came true. My friends moved cross-country and upon their arrival there was an immediate case of mistaken identity–something I had jokingly warned them about before they left Kansas City. Over the next several years prediction after prediction came true. I didn’t talk about it publicly, because I didn’t understand it and was worried I would be judged or labeled “crazy.”

2021

New Year’s 2021 brought me the first of three books that showed up in unconventional ways. Each book broke open a new layer of my brain. Once my brain had cracked wide enough, I was hit with a massive, monstrous download of an idea.

I was supposed to use my gift for simplifying and de-scarying business to change the way creative industries worked. I was supposed to build a company that would help people live their creative dreams. Teach them how to make money from their creative endeavors, introduce them to a constructive support system andhelp them be happy in the process.

After a shell-shocked week of sitting with that bit of info, I set out to buy The Writer’s Apprentice domain name. It was taken; that was the moment I understood how big this idea wanted to grow—after a few domain searches The Creative’s Apprentice was officially born.

Within a matter of my months my mom was diagnosed with liver cancer. It was fascinating to building such a hopeful business for my creative future in the midst of losing all hope my mom would survive.

The next sixteen months of my life were carefully divided into public and private. Publicly, I announced business updates, workshops, and leaves of absence to care for mom. Privately, I tried to make sense of all that was happening—it felt like the closer mom got to death the stronger my energetic experiences became.

I had countless people to talk about grief and caretaking. But I knew no one who could explain why a conversation with an old friend sent a tsunami of energy so strong it brought me to my knees, or why I could feel a friend’s headache when they were half way across the country, or why I knew a person was waiting on something very impatiently—even though we hadn’t talked in weeks.

I began to doubt if physical pains and emotions I experienced were mine or belonged to people I was close to (physically or emotionally.) I quickly learned discussions on the subject made other people uncomfortable. Questioning looks and swift topic changes reinforced my fear that something in me was broken, and I pulled back from relationships, situations, and obligations.

In August of 2021 an advertisement popped up on Instagram for Jeffrey Allen’s Duality class. The class said it dealt with moving stuck energy. The memory of that energy tsunami suddenly made sense. Energy I had blocked for over a decade became unstuck, and there was so much of it stored up I physically couldn’t handle it. I dove into Jeffrey’s class with hope—maybe I wasn’t losing my mind after all.

Duality confirmed I wasn’t crazy. I just had a sensitivity to energy that no one in my immediate circle experienced. The class gave me tools to choose when (and how) I would engage with others energy. By the end of the class I had moved from fear to curiosity.

December of 2021, the notice of death showed up three weeks in a row. As I faced impending loss after loss of people I loved, I concluded one was only given a month like this if they’re supposed to be learning something.  If I could learn how to find the good in this burned-to-the-ground season of my emotional life, I could teach that skill to my clients.

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