I have complicated feelings about my mirror-touch synesthesia. I don’t like getting other people’s hangovers, or feeling like I’ve been bashed in the back of the head randomly. I’ve accepted I can’t control it or turn it off, but this week I was grateful for it.
Our sweet 17-year-old little cat, Bear, took a trip to the vet last Friday because she just felt off. My synesthesia had me feeling what she was feeling, and it just felt weird.
It felt like my lungs worked properly, I could take deep breaths, and intellectually I knew I had enough air–but it’s like the air couldn’t flow out of the lungs into the cells or wherever it normally went. It was almost like an air pipe submerged in water at one end.
Everything around my lungs felt heavy. Like all the surrounding organs were filled with liquid lead, and my lungs were floating to the top.
It didn’t hurt. Not at all. But it was off and disquieting and it just felt like things weren’t flowing properly.
The vet said bear was in heart failure. That liquid had surrounded her heart and it was squeezing things. She also said Bear wasn’t going to get better, so on Tuesday we said goodbye.
I’m glad I know without any hesitation that she wasn’t in pain, but it still hurts to lose your friend of 17 years. She was a good little cat, and our family is very sad she’s gone–but glad for the time we got with her.
This week’s 7 cards is up. I hope you are doing well, and if you have a furry friend as part of your family, please give them an extra pet from me.